Are you able to have fun together with your pet?
It’s a silly issue, but I’m sure it is. However, I’m serious since many caring dog owners don’t. Yes, they can play tug or fetch; however, that’s not the kind of play I’m referring to. The thing I like to promote for a dog-human team is a casual, playful, fun-filled play relationship. It’s more top-down and less structured. I would love to witness a dog in the living room together with their dog, exchanging gentle hips checks as well as soft head butts.
Why is this type of game so crucial? What is the magic this game offers that fetch and tug do not? Dogs have enough time to work hard to make it through Planet Human. Imagine how relieved you will feel when you tell your pet that the two can hang around playing with each other as friends for a short period together.
Sometimes, I enter a customer’s house and spot a dog that doesn’t understand what’s happening. She squirms and slouches. I think she’s not quite sure how to interpret the place she’s been or the people she’s ended up with. This is when I’d like to know if injecting an element of play into their relationships could change the relationship, creating confidence and a sense of connection.
Dogs loosen up and reveal another side of the dog with actual play.
Some time ago, I attended a Zoom consultation with a woman who was awed by her pet rescue. The two had been in contact for some time, and something was out of place. She said the dog appeared “fine” but just looked around and looked at her. Many theories were floating around my head when she told me the dog’s sitter was a mother of her own children. I was anticipating the possibility of an unsettling story about biting when she mentioned, “… and he was just a fan of having fun with children! I’ve never witnessed him behave like that before. He looked so happy.”
Ah, ha! I asked her about the way she was able to behave and move around in the home:
- Are you at work on your computer a lot?
- Are you a bit organized and aware of your movement through your house?
- Do you look over the dog only to stare at him, thinking about why he’s not being more dog-like? An earful and a “yes.”
- Is your general attitude just a bit of…serious? Honest, big
Fantastic! The probable cause for the vague feeling of disconnect. This dog isn’t aware of who he is. The body language of his human does not convey a cheerful, inviting, joyous invitation. The dog’s sitter’s small children walked in with their relaxed and naturally playful body expressions. The dog recognized the message immediately and reacted with adorable, hilarious actions that the dog’s owner had never witnessed before.
The key was to benefit the serious and mature woman with many responsibilities and anxiety, as do many pet owners — to figure out how she could harness her capacity to relax and allow her dog to enjoy playing with her.
Mimic Dog Play
Image alt=” Sometimes having fun with your dog can require being at their stage.” src=”https://www.whole-dog-journal.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/IMG_1662-300×225.jpeg.webp”/>
Feel free to jump onto the ground and engage with your dog! Credit: Kathy Callahan
“Just mimic the way two dogs lazily engage with each other on the TV room floor after a long day,” I advise the people. The blank stares in their eyes bring me back to the fact that I must be able to change my words because no one has had dogs across every sofa in the last 30 years. Our family is one of them, and that’s probably the reason we are all innately drawn to the gentle push-wrestle between our dogs.
This is what it looks as follows:
- They’re at their level. We’re not looming from the top of the hill. We’re likely standing on four feet, lying on the floor or couch.
- Body language makes us feel at ease. We are suggesting playing with our dogs using no-frills, canine-style cocked ears, as well as dipped shoulders. We also bow to play. We flirt!
- We swap turns. It is a good idea to invite someone with an oblique headbutt. We then pull it back and let it sit. If we don’t get a response, the next step is to let it go. There’s probably an ear butt, as well as a turn, as well as a lap flop. Our response is to roll across the floor, which draws the dog in or perhaps nudges us on the neck, causing us to lift our heads. It’s the act of giving and receiving. Humans and dogs alike have the choice of engaging with each other repeatedly.
- We pause. Dog-dog bonding involves respectful pauses that enable all participants to regroup and intentionally re-engage. It is crucial that after the nudge, we take a step back and then wait for an answer.
- No commands or cues “commands.”This should be a free, mutual game. Cues can transform this into a new form of communication.
Although this explanation might sound, it can be challenging for us humans! Someone said he felt sad one day because his dog would not play with him. I demanded he show me how he used to get things out of the way, and he showed his hands outstretched in front of the dog as his exaggerated beast steps, accompanied by an “I’m gonna get you” sound. Although that could be great entertainment for his human nephew, it does not indicate a trustworthy and safe playing experience for the dog. I’m not surprised when his dog hides and does not engage. He’s too direct, too assertive, and too large, as well as relentless. When he pursues the connection, he’s disorienting his dog.
Low-Arousal Play as Therapy Tool
A few lucky readers might be familiar with the fantastic canine expert Amy Cook (CBDC, PhD), who invented her Play Way system. (See ” The Play Way for Shy and Fearful Dogs,” WDJ May 2020.) Cook has explored the subject of human-dog play far beyond the development of connections across species and has moved into together the concept of “social play” as the most reliable gauge of the dog’s mood. If used correctly, it can be a powerful tool for therapy.
Trainers would advise that dogs were at ease if it was able to take a bite of food. It’s not the truth because we’ve all met canines who continue to eat food while anxiously looking for dangers. Like a dog obsessed with ball games, it might still enjoy a high-arousal game of fetch despite being worried about people or sounds around. This is too appealing to refuse!
We’re now at the charm of low-arousal playing, which we’re discussing in this post. Cook suggests that owners of timid or scared pets develop their skills through interaction. The kind that’s entertaining but not as much fun, which the dog plays regardless of what. So they’ll know that it’s perfectly fine when they can see that their dog’s responding to their playful game of hip-checks (“under the threshold”). However, if the dog isn’t engaging, it’s crucial details! What has him stressed/distracted/worried–and how can we help?
But Won’t This Teach the Wrong Things?
A significant reason that people don’t engage with their dogs in this free, play-to-play approach for their dogs is that they’re afraid it’ll teach incorrect things. They’ve learned from an age-old dog culture that humans are always the ultimate authority.
If you’re me to believe that, I will tell you it’s an affront that deprives humans and their dogs of easy access to everyday happiness.
Of course, I would never suggest a free-spirited high-arousal game, which could make someone scared or hurt! If the play is intense, it’s essential to plan it out with guidelines and rules to ensure all participants are safe–i.e., it doesn’t begin until the dog has settled while playing, and it ends once the toy is removed from the play area.
However, we’re talking about a calmer, more tranquil form of play. Far from becoming threatening, there’s something lovely in your dog’s Planet Dog choice to make his own choices and gently nudge the other dog in your life to engage.